I like to try and get the first crash of the day out of the way early.

This morning was some sort of a record. Aside from an Instantaneous Crash – and who doesn’t enjoy that – or the Crash Before I Even Finish Rezzing type of crash, I do believe today’s first crash may hold on to become my Crash of the Day. We’ll see, the day is young. But morning brought a very nice arrival to this world with no apparent reason to fear a crash. As I sipped my coffee and gazed out my castle window at my ship, SS Ambassador, the day was further brightened by the collection of friends who appeared on the day’s roster as well as scattered chit chat on the radio. But before I could even begin to consider which friend to say hello to first or which station to follow (ISC Chat, Steampunks of Babbage, Winterfell) – BOOM! The crash.

One minute? Surely not two, no, no. I hadn’t even done anything yet. Not even a cam swing, just landed, rezzed…and that was all she wrote.

I relogged into the world and immediately dispatched a message to one of my friends, a former neighbor. “I like to get the first one over with early,” I said without explanation. “So I noticed,” came her quick reply. “Oh! That’s it! That’s my first line. Crash of the Day?” I reminded her. (I have been threatening to write this article for some time now.) “Oh yes,” she said, possibly thinking to herself, “Most certainly, I keep all of your comments about articles you may write in an index on little, white cards. I am always sorting through them, noting your changes. For yes, I have nothing more rewarding nor better to do with my life than keeping track of your ideas for articles.” Wiseass.

Ahem. I had, indeed, been threatening to write this article for some time now. But where to begin. There are so many types of crashes to consider, so much material to work with. Much more than a person would need for one article. And no, please, I do not wish to write a series, not on crashes. No, thank you. Experiencing them is bad enough without having to rehash too many. The fact that I am writing just this one is bad enough. It was only supposed to be a threat all along. There was never any intention… It was all just a little joke. Just something witty to say at the right moment, “One of these days I’m going to write an article called ‘Crash Of The Day.'” (Witty. I said it was just a little joke. Geesh.)

But before I could consider where to take this piece after that fine introduction above, just before the digressions, what do you think happened? BOOM! Crash.

Saturday. Take three.

At this rate maybe I won’t need to recall crashes from the past. Today’s output may suffice. I actually have crashes on my calendar this day. I am planning to attend an event in Winterfell at which there will be a number of people and much dancing. I understand there’s no cover but it’s a two-crash minimum. Rimshot.

Yes, there is much I could write about crashes. I could tell you the story of the crash that happened at the most inopportune moment. No, holy moly, what am I thinking? I can’t tell you that! Well, needless, to say we all have our little stories of the most inconvenient crashes and they cross over many categories, so I could be referring to most anything, really. Now, where was I? Yes, or I could regale you with tales about crashing at a dance or an important meeting or ceremony or… the list goes on and on. Then there are the crashes of others that have a direct impact on us. The singer at the concert for example or the “deejay” at the dance. Or the other end of the one I referred to above…almost referred to above. Well, we’ll leave that.

The stories go on, the categories too…Which was The Worst Crash – “Oh God, I hadn’t saved that Notecard!” Which was The Best Crash – “Phew! Got me outta that boring party!” There’s the ‘I’ll Never Find It Again Crash’ – “Oh no, it brought me back to the main landing point! Aaarrrggghhh!” And the “If Only I Hadn’t Crashed!” – “Where is she? She was standing right here! We were connecting! Damn!”

So, really, what can one say about crashes that we all haven’t said or thought sooooo many times before. It’s just that I’ve started to rank them now. It is beyond “The ______ Crash I Ever Had” stories, it is now a daily ranking. The Crash of the Day. It has come to this.

But at least now, I will no longer have to threaten to write an article called Crash of the Day.

Now I can just say, “Yeah, I once wrote an article called Crash of th —-


(saw that one coming a mile away, didn’t you? smarty.)